Awkward V-day Moments With The Kids

I Want to Puke of Love and Other V-Day Inappropriateness After Having Kids This is still one of my favorite V-Day moments (awkwardness, inappropriateness, and fear for my safety aside).

On February 14th a few years back, Ry, my daughter, then 5 years old, trotted into my room to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day, to hand me a stunning hand-made card, and to neck.

Sure, they tell you not to make-out with your kids, but sometimes there’s a fine line between so cute and so scary.

What parent doesn’t secretly love it when their child says they want to marry them (assuming they’re too young for marriage at the time)? I mean, for how many more years are they going to want to hug, snuggle, or hold hands?

“This card is sooo beautiful. Come give Mommy a kiss,” I said in a very innocent non-romantic way.

Ry, maybe wanting to show me the magnitude of the holiday, grabbed my face with both hands and planted the biggest soap opera smooch on me. I started to giggle mid-peck…

“Ummm, okay cutie,” I said feeling partly amused and partly violated.

“But, Mommy I want one more kiss,” she said as she came in for another.

“My love, we don’t kiss mommies or daddies or brothers or cousins or friends like that. It’s inappropriate.”

“Hey, you wanna go on a date?” she asked, ignoring me.

“What?” I said, wondering if I need a restraining order.

“Yeah, let’s go on a date and get some lollipops!” She said trying to woo me.

“Sure, I would love to go on a date and get lollipops with you.”

What, don’t judge me! For how many more years will she want to date me? The days of her asking me to drop her off a block from the mall so she doesn’t have to be seen with her embarrassing mom, are around the corner. If she wants a lollipop date, I’m in.

“Let’s go, but we gotta stop making-out.”

“But Mom, I love you sooo much” she said squeezing me tight.

Awwww, let’s just hug and be in this moment, I thought until she followed up with, “So much, I want to puke of love!”

Okay, so she’s a bit confused, but she said it in her “sexy voice,” which means it was a compliment. I will overlook the fact that it also means it was an attempt to pick me up.

PS my son J, who was 8 at the time, have me a card that simply read: “Will you be my valentine? I will be yours, if you will be mine… just asking.”

To you, my insecure child, that doesn’t want to make-out with me, but I hope still wants to marry me, “Yes, 1000 times yes. You make me want to puke of love!!!”